REVIEWS
Flatulina™: Music of the Blight
by hairy pooter with http://www.poopreport.com
Everyone owns a
holiday CD or ten. Bing Crosby, Willy Nelson, Meadow Soprano, or maybe
even Neil Diamond (wait -- isn't he Jewish?). Flatulina™'s Fabulous Holiday
Spectacular sports the same host of standards -- but instead of warm,
soothing, familiar voices compelling us to deck the halls, its Flatulina™'s
hyperactive anus. Flatulina™'s Fabulous Holiday Spectacular is the latest
(and possibly only) album from Flatulina™, the self-professed "sassy
gassy diva" who pioneered the study of Flatomusicology. These are
more than just sampled fart noises played over a rock beat on your little
brother's Casio -- these are some intricately arranged, destined-to-be-classic
songs with legitimate and impressive production values...
What truly makes this CD great is Flatulina™'s incredible versatility.
It's not like every C-note is always the same fart; there are many different
farts of varying duration, depth and moisture-content for each note
on the scale. Some are obviously armpit noises or tongued simfarts --
but even these are enjoyable, and become more so with each listen.
BUT WAIT--there's more! Don't feel like you got stuck with the end of
the roll when the 16 minute audio portion of the CD is done -- there's
a comprehensive interactive portion to the CD that's viewable on your
computer! With far more production quality than could ever be expected
from such a venture, we get to experience the full Flatulina™ story.
This is the story of the woman behind the behind -- conveying the life
of an innocent superstar who rises to take command of the music industry.
Also, she's pretty foxy, so if you are one of those dudes who get off
on gassy chicks, this is definitely the CD for you.
Oh, my lovely Flatulina™...
The best part of the movies and interviews is that Flatulina™, ever the
consummate musician, is inadvertently farting the whole time (although
don't use that word around her! She'll flip out. It's scary). There
are some strange high-concept jokes about her dad being in Spinal Tap,
but all is forgiven an instant later when she rips several juicies in
the middle of another person's sentence.
I realize this review comes too late for Christmas, but that doesn't
matter -- the true gem on this CD is the flatupello solo of Auld Lang
Syne. You know your New Year's party is going to end with one version
of this song or another -- you might as well make it interesting by
playing this one....
I'm still not sure if Flatulina™ is legitimate art or just a Halloween
costume taken too far, but with each listen I get more and more enamored
with her...
-- Hairy Pooter
Poopreports.com Review
by Dave at poopreport.com
At first, Flatulina™'s album is just a fun collection of popular Christmas
tunes with fart noises carrying the melodies. Fun for the whole family.
But then you put the CD in your computer, and you enter the world of Flatulina™:
gorgeous. Stunning. Silky white hair like an angel's halo. A diva who
has taught a fish to sing. A brave pioneer who has turned her chronic
hypergastroplosia into a gift for all humanity. A woman who will entrance
you with her flatual prowess, and make you fall in love.
KICKBACK WATCH: None, but after experiencing her CD, I'm in love with
the Fabulous Flatulina™, and hope desperately to curry her favor.
Feature
from christmasreviews.com
by Christmasreviews.com
I found Flatulina™'s, um, offering more attractive than I thought I would.
But I had left plenty of room. Actually, I should be happy when an artist
such as Flatulina™ is kind enough to send something so easy to write
about. So, let's get started.
The first thing you notice about Flatulina™'s release is that she is
quite full of herself and eager to toot her own horn. Also, through
a series of testimonials on the video portion of the enhanced CD, a
number of her friends and fans happily spill the beans about Flatulina™'s
unique charm. One senses that the way she elicits such an outpouring
on the part of her fans is through her unique aura, an effervescence
that causes heads to turn whenever she passes. Not to mention the cheesy
outfit she wears as she shakes her talented booty all over Hollywood.
OK, I'll stop.
Soon, I expect to be hearing more from Flatulina™ on morning radio, particularly
from the likes of the Bob and Tom Show. In the meantime, I'll satisfy
myself with the music video and songs from Flatulina™'s Fabulous Holiday
Spectacular. As advertised, this CD is appropriate for all ages... Finally,
it should be noted that Flatulina™ gets "two beaks up" from
Flip and Charlie (the parakeets), who happily sang along all evening
with Flatulina™'s dance mix.
Flatulina™ is clearly in a class by herself, and with good reason.
Flatulina™'s
Fabulous Holiday Spectacular
from mistletunes.com
If this had come from somebody in the Howard Stern orbit, I would have
probably dismissed it out of hand. But I have to give Flatulina™ credit
for shameless promotion, myth-making and plagiarism beyond the call
of duty. Some examples: Her dad was Nigel Tufnel of Spinal Tap. Her
boyfriend is noted film director Alan Smithee, whom she met when she
composed the musical score for the film they both were working on, "Rochelle
Rochelle." Her previous boyfriend was Chris Gaines. She played
the role of Maris Crane on "Frazier." And so on. John Lennon
said it best: "Good artists borrow. Great artists steal."
You can decide which one she is when I tell you what's actually on the
CD -- nine cuts of classic carols in which she farts the melody lines,
except for "Dance of the Reed Pipes." There also are some
examples of "singing fish" on the CD, but you'll have to wade
through the enhanced CD portion of this album to learn what that's all
about. While this is a one-joke novelty record, Flatulina™ manages to
make the absolute most of the gag.
"SENSATIONAL"...
"EXPLOSIVE"
by B. Jones
"FINALLY...an artist who captures the true state of being flatulent...
Flatulina™ is a sensation... her Flatulency is explosive... can't imagine
the holiday without 'the queen of steam'... this chicks alimentary canal
flows with stinky, steamy, poots... not just another Christmas album...
Flatulina™ and Co. have created a true American classic... I love it"
Flatulina™'s
Fabulous Holiday Spectacular
by B. Sirles
What gassy class! This is the album of my dreams! Mixing the best season
of the year with the best sounds of the year. Flatulina™ is sure to not
be a "passing" fad. Her ingenuity is refreshing and worthy
of a loud toot of her horn! The dance mix has a great beat and I can
dance to it - that's tops in my book! Buy one every CD player you own
and one for every person you know! Viva la fabulosity!
Unbelievable!
by J.S.
This CD is quickly becoming one of my all time favorites! It's
perfect for holiday fun and festivities, and provides a party atmosphere
any other time of the year as well. I'm especially impressed with
the superior production techniques used to accompany a diverse fish
choir. The overall musicality expressed on this recording is unbelievable.
Flatulina™ is an artist of many talents and her stunning creativity is
obviously the driving force of the project. Flatulina™'s Fabulous
Holiday Spectacular is quickly becoming a "must-have" for
all CD collections!
You
gotta see the enhanced CD portion!
by L. Brad
Flatulina™'s... um.. "music" is unique and very funny and I
guarantee you will love it. BUT.... you've GOT to put this CD in your
computer and watch the enhanced CD videos! She is a riot!!!! We were
all watching it at work (we were all on break -- honest) and we were
cracking up! There's all these videos of her on the beach, on the street
in Hollywood, being interviewed, in the studio.... they've got interviews
with her friends and colleagues. She is so original. And if you're afraid
it's going to be offensive, I swear, it's NOT. It's edgy but it's also
cute and adorable and you just want to take her home. I really recommend
it!
